Invisible Struggle: The Telltale Signs of a Dysregulated Nervous System in Mothers

I was standing in my kitchen at midnight, rage-cleaning dishes while my family slept, when it hit me: This wasn’t just “mom stress.” My body was screaming for help, and I’d been ignoring it for months.

That’s the thing about a dysregulated nervous system - it shows up in ways that look like “normal mom life” until suddenly… you’re sobbing over spilled juice or hiding in the bathroom just to breathe.

If you’re nodding along, feeling seen in ways that both comfort and terrify you, keep reading. This isn’t just about being “overwhelmed.” It’s about understanding what’s really happening in your body so you can stop white-knuckling through your days.

The Impact of Dysregulation on Mothers

Let’s get real about what’s actually happening when your nervous system goes haywire. Trust me, it’s not just in your head.

Emotional Volatility

You know that moment when your kid asks for the blue cup (not the green one, never the green one) and suddenly you’re fighting back tears? Or when your partner loads the dishwasher “wrong” and you feel rage bubbling up like a volcano?

That’s not you being “too emotional.” That’s your nervous system stuck in survival mode, treating every minor inconvenience like a four-alarm fire. And honestly? It’s exhausting.

Continued Reading: What Causes Mom Rage

Physical Toll

Your body’s keeping score, even when you’re pushing through. That tension headache that shows up every day at 4 PM? The random stomach issues? The way your shoulders live somewhere near your ears now?

Yeah, that’s not just “mom life.” That’s your body literally screaming “MAYDAY” in every way it knows how.

Sensory Overload

Remember when you could handle background noise without wanting to crawl out of your skin? Now the sound of your kid’s iPad, the dryer buzzing, and your partner on a work call makes you want to lock yourself in a soundproof room.

Your nervous system is basically a raw nerve, picking up every single input like it’s an emergency broadcast signal. Even the dog’s breathing can feel like too much sometimes. (Yes, I’ve actually shushed my dog for breathing too loud. Not my proudest moment.)

Sleep Drama

Oh sleep, that thing you used to do before your nervous system decided 3 AM was the perfect time to replay every embarrassing moment from high school. You’re either lying awake planning next year’s Halloween costumes or so exhausted you could cry, but still somehow can’t sleep.

And let’s not even talk about how you finally start drifting off right when someone needs water/bathroom/their stuffed elephant that’s definitely in their bed but they just can’t find it.

Focus & Concentration Issues

Ever find yourself standing in a room, phone in hand, completely forgetting why you’re there? Or starting to pack school lunches only to find yourself organizing the Tupperware drawer 20 minutes later?

Your brain isn’t broken - it’s just operating like a browser with 47 tabs open, and you can’t remember which one is playing that annoying music. Focus feels about as attainable as a full night’s sleep or a hot cup of coffee.

Eating Pattern Changes

One minute you’re inhaling cold chicken nuggets over the sink, the next you’ve forgotten to eat all day. Your body’s “hunger signals” are about as reliable as a toddler’s promise to “just try one bite.”

And don’t get me started on the 9 PM pantry raids when your nervous system decides it needs ALL the carbs to survive another day of… gestures vaguely at everything.

Weakened Immune Response

Getting sick… again? Your immune system’s working about as well as a part-time bouncer at an overcrowded club. When your nervous system is fried, your body’s defense system gets about as reliable as a three-year-old’s pinky promise.

Social Battery Drain

Some days you’re desperate for adult conversation (even if it’s just with the grocery store cashier). Other days, a text from a friend feels as overwhelming as a pop quiz in high school calculus.

Your social battery is either at 0% or 100% - there is no in-between. And sometimes you’re both lonely AND want everyone to leave you alone. Make it make sense.

The Role of Stress in Dysregulation

Let’s talk about stress - not the “I have a big presentation tomorrow” kind, but the “I’ve been in survival mode so long, I forgot there’s another way to live” kind.

1. Nervous System Overload: Your nervous system is stuck in “threat detection mode,” treating everything from an empty coffee pot to a full inbox like it’s a literal tiger in your living room. It’s like having an overenthusiastic security system that goes off when a leaf blows past the window.

2. Physical Impact: Your heart’s doing its best impression of a drum solo even when you’re just folding laundry. Thanks, stress hormones - really appreciate you treating every minor task like we’re running from zombies.

3. Metabolic Changes: Stress has your body playing games with sugar like a toddler with cookie jar access. Your insulin’s basically throwing its hands up saying, “I don’t even know anymore, just do whatever you want.”

4. Mental Fog: Remember when you could remember things? Now you’re writing reminders to remind you to check your reminders. Your brain’s operating like a computer running Windows 95 - slow, glitchy, and occasionally showing the blue screen of death.

5. Emotional Impact: Depression and anxiety aren’t just uninvited guests - they’re squatters setting up camp in your nervous system. And they brought friends: irritability, mood swings, and that fun thing where you laugh until you cry and then can’t stop crying.

6. Fight-or-Flight Response: Your body’s running from imaginary bears all day long. The laundry pile isn’t actually going to eat you, but try telling that to your nervous system. It’s like having an overprotective bodyguard who tackles the mailman (lol).

Why Self-Care Is a Non-Negotiable for Moms with a Dysregulated Nervous System

Look, I know “self-care” sounds about as achievable as getting your kids to put their shoes away properly. But here’s the truth: you can’t pour from an empty cup, and right now? Your cup isn’t just empty - it’s probably cracked and being used as a toy in the bathtub.

Why Self-Care Matters for Moms

1. Energy Management:

Think of yourself like a phone battery - except you can’t just plug yourself in while scrolling Instagram. You need actual recharge time. And no, passing out face-first into a pile of laundry doesn’t count as rest.

2. Stress Response:

When you’re constantly operating in emergency mode, even deciding what to make for dinner feels like defusing a bomb. Taking care of yourself isn’t selfish - it’s literally your nervous system begging for a timeout.

3. Physical and Mental Health:

This isn’t just about bubble baths (though if you can actually take one without tiny hands banging on the door, power to you). It’s about keeping yourself functioning above “barely surviving” level.

4. Modeling Self-Care for Your Kids:

Here’s the kicker - your kids are watching. When they see you treating yourself like a backup generator that never needs maintenance, guess what they’re learning? Yeah. Let’s break that cycle.

Practical Self-Care Tips for Burnt-Out Moms

1. Reality-Based Mindset: Forget “positive thinking” - let’s aim for “slightly less negative thinking.” Celebrate tiny wins. Made it through bedtime without crying? That’s a gold star day.

2. Time Management: Lower the bar. Then lower it again. Now you’re getting somewhere. Prioritize what keeps everyone alive and relatively clean. Everything else can wait.. Continued Reading: Time Management Strategies for Overwhelmed Moms

3. Basic Survival Habits: Sleep when you can (I know, hilarious). Move your body sometimes. Eat something that wasn’t left on your kid’s plate. Drink water like your sanity depends on it (because it does).

4. Schedule Sanity Breaks: That five minutes hiding in the pantry eating chocolate? Schedule it. Make it non-negotiable. Your “me time” isn’t a luxury - it’s basic maintenance for your mental health.

5. Delegate and Ask for Help: I know, I know - “asking for help” sounds about as appealing as stepping on Lego. But here’s the thing: you’re not meant to do this alone. Your partner, family, friends - they’re not mind readers. Tell them what you need, directly. Yes, even if you have to write it in crayon and stick it to their forehead.

Continued Reading: How to Recharge as an Overstimulated Mom

Simple Strategies to Calm Your Nervous System

Let’s talk real solutions. Not the “just meditate for an hour” kind (because… when?), but actual, doable strategies for when you’re about to lose it.

1. Breathing RESET

When your toddler’s having their third meltdown of the hour and you feel your blood pressure rising? Breathe.

Not the fake “I’m fine” breath, but real, deep breaths. Four counts in, hold for four, six counts out. Do it three times. It’s like a ctrl+alt+delete for your nervous system.

2. Movement Medicine

Dance in your kitchen. Do jumping jacks in the bathroom. Roll your shoulders while waiting for the microwave to beep. '

Movement doesn’t need special clothes or a gym membership - it just needs you to shake off the stress like a wet dog.

3. Connection Points

Hug your kids (when you don’t want to strangle them). Call that friend who gets it. Pet your dog. Human connection is like a natural anti-anxiety med, minus the side effects.

4. Sleep Priorities

I know sleep feels like a luxury item right now, but it’s actually a necessity. Create a wind-down routine that works for YOUR life. Maybe it’s 10 minutes of mindless TV after the kids are in bed.

Maybe it’s reading one page of a book before passing out. Whatever helps your brain switch from “mom mode” to “rest mode.”

5. Professional Support

Sometimes you need more than just deep breaths and good intentions. Reaching out for professional help isn’t failing - it’s like calling a mechanic when your car’s making that weird noise.

Better to deal with it now than wait for a complete breakdown.

Seeking Professional Help for Nervous System Dysregulation

Let’s be real - sometimes all the self-help tips in the world aren’t enough. When you’re stuck in survival mode, trying to fix yourself is like trying to perform self-surgery: messy and probably not the best idea.

Understanding Your Needs

Your nervous system isn’t broken - it’s protecting you the only way it knows how. But if you’re reading this from your bathroom hiding spot (no judgment), it might be time for some backup.

Even long after a traumatic event, your nervous system can stay stuck in overdrive, like a car that’s trying to press both the accelerator and the brake at the same time. It’s exhausting, and it’s no way to live. But there’s hope.

Breaking Free with Mom Coaching

That’s where I come in. (Curious who I am and what makes me an authority in this? MORE ABOUT ME) I’m not here to tell you to “just relax” or “be more positive” (because honestly, has that ever helped anyone?).

I’m here to help you understand your nervous system and create actual, workable solutions for your real life.

What Working with a Mom Coach Looks Like:

We’ll tackle TOGETHER:

• That guilt that’s eating you alive (you know the one)
• The overthinking that keeps you up at 3 AM
• The overwhelm that makes simple decisions feel impossible
• The patterns that keep you stuck in survival mode

And we’ll do it in a way that works for YOUR life. No generic advice. No impossible standards. Just real support for real moms.

Want to know more about what this looks like?

Conclusion: Real Talk About Healing and Thriving

Look, if you’ve made it this far, I’m guessing something in this article hit home. Maybe you’re reading it on your phone in the dark, or between Zoom meetings, or while hiding in the bathroom (your secret’s safe with me).

Here’s what I want you to know:

• This isn’t just “mom life” - Your struggle is real, and you’re not imagining things. That pit in your stomach, the racing thoughts, the constant overwhelm? They’re all signs your body is trying to tell you something.

• You’re not failing - Your nervous system is doing exactly what it’s supposed to do after being in survival mode for so long. The problem isn’t you; it’s the load you’re carrying.

• There’s hope - Not the cheesy “everything will be fine” kind, but real, tangible hope. Your nervous system can learn to feel safe again. You can find your way back to feeling like yourself.

The Next Step

Maybe right now you’re:
• Nodding along but feeling too overwhelmed to do anything about it
• Finally understanding why you’ve been feeling so off
• Ready for change but not sure where to start

Here’s the truth: You don’t have to figure this out alone. Actually, you probably shouldn’t try to figure this out alone (speaking from experience here).

Whether you’re ready to dive into deep healing work or just need someone to tell you you’re not losing your mind, I’m here. Not as some perfect mom who has it all figured out, but as someone who’s been in the trenches and found a way through.

Remember: Your nervous system might be dysregulated, but YOU are not broken. You’re a mom doing the hardest job on the planet while your body’s alarm system is stuck on high alert. Give yourself some grace.

Ready to start feeling like yourself again? Let’s talk. No pressure, no judgment, just real support from someone who gets it.

I am HERE with you. Lets RESET!

P.S. If you’re reading this at 3 AM, save it for tomorrow and go try to sleep. Your nervous system will thank you.

And when you’re ready, I’ll be here.

References:

Signs of a Dysregulated Nervous System - Approved Science Blog

The Health Risks of a Dysregulated Nervous System | Psychology Today

The Connection Between Trauma and Nervous System Dysregulation (nervoussystemschool.com)

What is Nervous System Regulation & Why is it Important? (positivepsychology.com)